confessions-of-a-teenage-fitblr:
plot twist: santa actually brings you the naked celebrity you asked for and you have to awkwardly unwrap them in front of your entire family
why the fuck cant we text the police
lets say there is a murderer in ur house and you’re hiding behind your sofa and you do have your phone with you but you can’t call the police because the murderer might hear you
Relevant
they’re actually trying to do that in some places
i wish i was a mermaid so i could have a nice shiny tail and a pretty seashell bra and a beautiful voice that i could use to entice cute boys and make them crash their ships and drown at sea so human women could rise as the dominate gender of the land
